September 18, 2013


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Yesterday was one of those kind of "in the trenches" days. It was just messy and all too real. The dishes were piled up in the sink and across the counters and stove to boot. There's a pile of things growing up the stairs. And I'm pretty sure you can guess what the current state of laundry is. 

It was hard. It's been a hard week and I'm not proud of it. I yelled at L more times than I like to admit and I probably threatened to take away every thing important to her. I even told her she can't go to ballet class today. And as much as that kills me, I know I have to go through. She's seriously an amazing kid but we're struggling to get her to listen when she should and follow instructions. 

And my current health issue is making this all pile up into something more than it should. I started having problems breathing Friday night and it hasn't gotten any better. The best I can explain it is that it feels like someone is sitting on my chest and I'm breathing through a small tube. It just doesn't feel right. The doctor ran some tests on Monday and prescribed something for what he "thought" the problem might be. I've been on the medication since yesterday and at times I feel worse. Breathing is becoming a struggle. I can't even read a book to L without stopping to catch my breath and that breaks my heart. Now I'm trying to figure out if the meds are hurting me more than they are helping. I don't like the side effects I seem to be getting from them and I'm not breathing any easier. 

BUT...I am breathing and alive and my awesome husband took the day off to tag-team with the parenting. And the cleaning, because he's just great. I'm making up a batch of applesauce, it's cool outside and I've got a few episodes of Glee I can catch up on so today is brighter than yesterday and that's all I can really ask for.

Happy Wednesday, you guys!

PS - I took this picture the other day while L was drawing. Her mini masterpieces are one the of best things from this season of toddlerhood we're in. 

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